Spad is having a housewarming party to warm his house. The best housewarming gift I (or anyone else) can think of is a Vin Diesel DVD. He chose xXx.
I understand that it is against the rules of internet to open a box without filming it and sending it in to YouTube, so that is what I done.
Today my hetero life partner Bobaloba and I done lots of Tweets about how I stole a Securicor van. It is the fifth funniest thing on the entire interwebs and I put all of the Tweets together in a Storify thing. (Storify, incidentally, is well good and I intend to use it again.)
In the inevitable film adaptation we foresee Vin Diesel and The Rock playing me and Bobaloba respectively. The Polish gangsters will be played by Shawn and Marlon Wayans and DJ Qualls and the Polish gang leader by Liam Neeson. Any studio executives reading this can contact me on the Twitter.
If it works, I have embedded the Storify thing here:
No, that doesn’t seem to have worked at all. Just use this link. Stupid interwebs.