One-armed Freddy's internet website

Full of magic, fun and swearing

Ketchup perverts

I like the Twitter. It’s brilliant. It took me a long time to “get” it, but I’m glad I finally did.

Last night I had a breakdown and shouted at people about how ketchup belongs in the cupboard and anyone putting it in the fridge is a pervert. Lots of people humoured me and joined in, and it kept me amused all evening.

I have collated all the Tweets, mainly because I think Storify is brilliant and wanted to use it again. I have learned my lesson and will not attempt to embed it – instead, here’s a link.

Link!

If you don’t already follow me on the Twitter, please do so here. We’ll be best friends.

Tunadrugs – the Heist

Today my hetero life partner Bobaloba and I done lots of Tweets about how I stole a Securicor van. It is the fifth funniest thing on the entire interwebs and I put all of the Tweets together in a Storify thing. (Storify, incidentally, is well good and I intend to use it again.)

In the inevitable film adaptation we foresee Vin Diesel and The Rock playing me and Bobaloba respectively. The Polish gangsters will be played by Shawn and Marlon Wayans and DJ Qualls and the Polish gang leader by Liam Neeson. Any studio executives reading this can contact me on the Twitter.

If it works, I have embedded the Storify thing here:

No, that doesn’t seem to have worked at all. Just use this link. Stupid interwebs.

Linkies

Dear Graham,

Please can you fix it for me to see some links to websites of people you know?

Yours sincerely,

[insert humorous name here]

I certainly can. Here they are:

Bobaloba

My good buddy Bobaloba (AKA Rob to the Mason) have got website. He write ting. Have look, innit.

Kitsch Bits

My wife makes jewellery and sells it on the interwebs. Have a look at her site and buy some items.

Spad

Who Spad? Him Spad. Him have website too. Joy!

That’s all for now, I’ll make a proper page at some point and add a few more. Peace out.

Lincoln Parkour

A few years ago my Lincoln partners in crime, Bobaloba and Damian van Doom, and I made us a parkour film. Here it is:

Good, eh?

Despite doing my back in, it was a lot of fun. We filmed it over the course of several months (hence the differing length of my hair) and edited it by way of getting drunk and shouting instructions at van Doom.

Once uploaded, we had our first taste of the bile and vitriol that YouTube comments serve up. To deal with this I created a new account in the name of “Jumpboy789″ and did lots of fun swearing at these losers.

Despite some half-arsed plans for a follow-up project, Lincoln Parkour remains our only published work to date.