One-armed Freddy's internet website

Full of magic, fun and swearing

What’s crackerlackin’ yo?

Around this time of year you’ll be hearing the inevitable, tedious “what’s the best Christmas song?” debates. (It’s Fairytale of New York anyway, so there’s little point in discussing further.)

But what you won’t hear is the “what’s the best Christmas hip-hop album?” debate. Because there is no debate. Because it’s Christmas in tha Dogghouse presented by Snoop Dogg.

Snoop Dogg

Snoop Dogg at Christmas

It’s a lovely, festive treat of guns, bitches and bling. It manages to be simultaneously the best and worst album ever released.

Have a listen. Christmas in the Hood is my favourite, followed by Twas the Night Before Xmas.

Listen in Spotify

Listen in Spotify

Merry Christmas, bitches.

Words of an Idiot

I work with an idiot. He is quite bigoted but due to his complete lack of self-awareness, some of the things he comes out with can be quite funny.

Follow @wordsofanidiot on the Twitter. Highlights:

Do you ever have one leg of your shorts shrink after a few washes? The left leg on 3 pairs of mine has.

Indian women can look quite nice when they want to

I can deal with a bit of pubic hair but some people have fucking retarded amounts. It’s not on.

Here’s your tea. I personally think tea tastes like damp flannels.



Over the last couple of years I’ve been getting into photography. I’ve got an entry level DSLR, the Nikon D3000 – it’s basic but perfect for my needs and abilities at the moment.

My photos are all on my Flickr stream, and the rest of this post contains some of my favourites.

(If you’re viewing this at a later date from archives then some of the photos may have dropped off my photostream – I don’t have a Pro account.)


Gemma and I went on holiday to Barcelona in 2010.

This photo was taken in La Sagrada Familia. It was taken handheld so not the sharpest, but I like the colours.

The EXIF data was lost when I converted it for Flickr and I don’t have the RAW file to hand. I’m pretty sure this was on the 50mm lens, but I don’t know what settings.


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Stop! Bible time!

Back in two thousand plus five I found out that old parachute pants himself, MC Hammer is now an evangelist. So I made a little webpage:

Stop! Bible Time!

Click here for the Stop! Bible Time! web page

Just like every other project I ever start I got bored of it and gave up after the first post. But I found it again today and it raised a smile.

I’m trying to find my old Freddy’s Lair site. It’s on a CD somewhere. I’ll put it up here when I do.

Keep fly, homies.

Podcasts I like

I listen to some podcasts. I thought I’d tell you which ones because I’m nice, like.

Iain Lee on Absolute Radio

Iain Lee on Absolute Radio

Iain Lee is sadly no longer on the radio, but you can still get podcasts of his manic phone-in show (technical term.)

Being a late night show, there are a lot of nutters. For years it was the best thing on the radio, Iain Lee is a master of his craft. Well worth a listen.

iTunes link / non-iTunes link / archives

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Survivor Gentleman 2

My good chums Chris & Hadyn often go into the woods together. They won’t tell anyone what they do, and nobody else is allowed to join them.

But to my astonishment and excitement, a video of them together was leaked and put on the YouTube. Here it is:

What are those crazy guys like?!?!


This year I done Movember. My moustache was itchy and ginger, two terrible things. But I raised £200, contributing to a :teamAMAzING: total of £593 which I think you’ll find is pretty bloody brilliant.

Final group photo for :team AMAzING:

Final group photo for :team AMAzING:

You can view a lovely album of my journey here. If you didn’t get a chance to donate, you can still do so here.


Dear Graham,

Please can you fix it for me to see some links to websites of people you know?

Yours sincerely,

[insert humorous name here]

I certainly can. Here they are:


My good buddy Bobaloba (AKA Rob to the Mason) have got website. He write ting. Have look, innit.

Kitsch Bits

My wife makes jewellery and sells it on the interwebs. Have a look at her site and buy some items.


Who Spad? Him Spad. Him have website too. Joy!

That’s all for now, I’ll make a proper page at some point and add a few more. Peace out.

Lincoln Parkour

A few years ago my Lincoln partners in crime, Bobaloba and Damian van Doom, and I made us a parkour film. Here it is:

Good, eh?

Despite doing my back in, it was a lot of fun. We filmed it over the course of several months (hence the differing length of my hair) and edited it by way of getting drunk and shouting instructions at van Doom.

Once uploaded, we had our first taste of the bile and vitriol that YouTube comments serve up. To deal with this I created a new account in the name of “Jumpboy789″ and did lots of fun swearing at these losers.

Despite some half-arsed plans for a follow-up project, Lincoln Parkour remains our only published work to date.